Comments for Sarahc's Star Blog

Comment on Endeavor update by rabeam

rabeam — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:34:07 +0000

With this post, you’ve maxed out on points. So, I’ll keep reading if you keep writing, but you’re done with this group of assignments for grading purposes. I thought the blog worked out well. Tough, however, to write an informational blog about this topic — unless you want to try to develop sources in the aeronautics and space sciences dept. Grade on this post=2 (no interview, not quite 200 words)

Comment on India’s Chandrayaan-1 begins moon orbit by rabeam

rabeam — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:17:44 +0000

Below I’ve left paragraphs that have errors or changes. For style or mechanical errors, I’ve simply made the fix; you can determine what the error is by comparing it with the original in your post. For other errors, I’ve put a message in brackets. –RB Grade = 2 [SEVERAL MINOR MECHANICAL ERRORS]

The Indian Space Research Organization recently announced that its Chandrayaan-1 orbiter entered its first lunar transfer trajectory. Many believe the launch was a planned response to China’s latest spacewalk mission.

A transfer trajectory is a low-energy maneuver that sets spacecraft [THIS WORD, LIKE DEER, HAS THE SAME SINGULAR AND PLURAL FORM] into the gravitational pull of celestial bodies. THE SPACE ORGANIZATION is displaying this picture of the Chandrayaan-1 undergoing prelaunch tests, and this picture of the orbiter launching on its WEB SITE.

The director at the India Space Agency, Manmohan Singh, made it clear in comments to Reuters that the move was partially directed at China. “China has gone earlier,” he said, “but today we are trying to catch them, catch that gap, bridge the gap.”

Representing the United States’ response to the mission, NASA [SEE AP] released this statement in 2006 to assure India of its intention to cooperate. In the statement, NASA also announced its aim to have two of its own “scientific instruments on India’s maiden voyage to the moon.[WHERE'S THE END QUOTE?]

Many are less enthusiastic about India’s space progress. Bharat Karnad, an Indian strategic affairs analyst, told THE New York Times that the mission was a “misuse of resources that this country [India] can ill afford at this point.”

Comment on Astronauts vote from space by rabeam

rabeam — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:22:20 +0000

Starting next week, I’m going to factor mechanical errors into grades for the remaining blog posts. (I’ve been calling attention to some mechanical errors but not taking them into account in the grade.) Below, I have examples of mechanical errors in this post that I’ve repaired.

–Cmdr. Mike Fincke

–commented Alexa Seidl, a political science student at the University of Washington.

–anyone has a good excuse not to exercise [his or her] right to vote

–Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain have both made the point

Follow-up was good. By the way, it’s hyphenated as a noun. Two words as a verb (I will follow up with you later.)

In the future, let’s figure we’ll get by without the nonessential comments that are there just to meet the terms of the assignment (e.g, Seidl). Instead, find two secondary sources. 3

Comment on NASA’s Hubble Fix Reveals More Problems by Mike Mayer

Mike Mayer — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 06:49:50 +0000

This is the most amazing blog I HAVE EVER READ! Wow, you’ve made me super interested in the stars. Well done Ms. Cox, well done.

Comment on MESSENGER Flies by Mercury by rabeam

rabeam — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:49:38 +0000

I’m focusing on comma use this week. And you have no comma errors in this. Excellent. Good use of links. 2 (no primary source but several secondary ones)

Comment on China Accomplishes Successful Spacewalk Mission by rabeam

rabeam — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:44:43 +0000

Good informational post. You’re a “clean” writer. By that I mean you rarely make mistakes.

One thing that caught my eye was the direct quote from the astronaut. Certainly not made to you, so you need to signal your reader where it came from. If, for example, it was from video you watched, you could allude to that: “Zhai said in a message broadcast from space.” If it was from the NYT article, then: “Zhai told The New York Times” or “The New York Times reported.” Bottom line: It’s a good idea to signal where your info came from.

Minor mechanical:

–Sen. Barack Obama — need both names on first reference.
–AP says not to abbreviate U.S. when it’s used as a noun.

Comment on Happy Birthday NASA (and welcome to my blog)! by rabeam

rabeam — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 22:31:35 +0000

Great start. I’m looking forward to reading this. Remind me to show you how to change the title of the blog itself. You can give it a title that better reflects the content. Smart use of links. You don’t need to follow AP style, but it would be a good way to practice. If you do, it would be “Oct. 1.” Finally, I like the cartoon. 3